#24: Women of a Certain Age
Ada Calhoun's close-to-home essay on the mid-life crises of Gen-X women has been making the rounds since it was published back in October, so I won't editorialize too much. It's worth a read if you've been squirming around somewhere in your 40's or just beyond. I've been thinking a lot about how this particular demographic of women has felt so hard to pin down, elusive in some ways and ubiquitous in others. Who are we, really? Calhoun's portrait feels stark, and certainly relatable, but as whiplashed as my friends and I might feel by our sudden turn towards middle age, I still think we have more agency over our direction than Calhoun's conclusion implies.
Beyond bringing up bébé, Pamela Druckerman, an American writer in Paris also ponders the tipping point that nudged her from mademoiselle to madame.
Considering my own experiences as an exotic twenty-something ingénue floating through Paris at the dawn of the millennium, the changing shift of the male gaze can feel as sudden as flipping a switch. But in Bust, Sarah Yaw questions why feeling invisible to men fills us with a sense of tragedy when in many ways, we should feel relief.
I really feel her point, but I'm not all there yet. Instead, I'm going to queue up some Liz Phair and get my ladyswagger back on, celebrating the reissue of 1993's Exile in Guyville. Timely as ever, n'est-ce pas?
And, hey, all hope is not lost, as we seem to be in the midst of a greynaissance! From Joan Didion for Céline to the iconically bespectacled Iris Apfel, and even apparently Musk brothers' mama, Maye, women of a certain age (which we take to mean anything 40 and over) are the latest it-girls. Inspiring and reassuring, yes, but maybe also a little too on the nose says one my new favorite fashion bloggers, Alyson Walsh of That's Not My Age.
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Ok, just a little zeitgeisty bandwagoning before I go. I think we can all agree that the conversation around cultural appropriation–of race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, all of it–is one that will continue to evolve. Every day, I find my ideas questioned and my perspectives challenged. I don't want answers, I just want to learn, to absorb, to consider.
That's why like everyone else, I am completely and utterly gripped by This is America, the new song and video by Childish Gambino, aka 'triple threat' Donald Glover. I'm just sitting here slack-jawed, so thankfully, the New York Times created this pitch-perfect round-up of all the best things to read about it. Because there are lots. LOTS.
And somewhat, but not exactly tangentially, you might as well take a cruise through Ta-Nehisi Coates's breathless takedown of the problem of Kanye. Can we please stop talking about it? Monsters!!!